Blah.

Seriously, someone please remind me to never tell dad I'll be making more money.

I told him about my new job yesterday and I was all excited so I told him how much I'll be making and that I'll be working full time and so on, but I was on my way out so I just kind of mentioned it. So, when I pass by the counter when I got home later that night lying on it is a bill and an envelope.

What the fuck?!?!

Seriously, I got a new job so I could fucking start saving money for college, and as soon as dad hears about it he asks me for more money.

No, fuck him. I'm not working in Wal-Mart for the rest of my life, I'm cutting my losses. I'm going to talk to my sister about co-signing for me to get a car in my name once I get back from Hawaii, this is ridiculous. Dad makes fucking double what I make, if he can't pay his bills that's his problem, he should cut back on drinking and smoking. Whenever we got the car I agreed to pay for half of it, and I've stuck by that, dad is the one that every few months decides I owe him more money for some reason, so, in short. I really am cutting my losses, it sucks that it comes down to this, but with dad it seems like every step forward is met with three pushes backward, and I'm not living my life like that, so nope, game over, I'm out.

I'm basically getting a sixty dollar weekly raise, what the fuck does dad want me to do with sixty dollars?

Oh geez!

I am so excited, you seriously would not believe.

I just got my new job and what not, and I just found out that if I go back and take some high school courses online I probably won't have to take any remedials.

Ohhhh. That should save me a shit ton of money, but I have to find a test proctor or some shit like that. I have someone in mind, so meh.

No, really though, I'm going to be working as a baker at Wal-Mart. This is gonna be schweeet. I'll be working full time, and I started out a pretty good pay rate, and I get a raise in three months. Yeahhhh!!!

I'm also really excited about college now, before I was really just nervous about it, so I've been kind of procrastinating everything having to do with it, but the closer and closer the "back to school" season gets the more excited I get. I still will not be starting until the Spring semester, due to money things, but nonetheless.

I'm probably going to be moving in with my sister while Danny is in Iraq, I can't remember when I would be leaving/coming back. I'm pretty sure it's something like from September to January.

I'll probably come home about a month early though so that I can find a room mate and move out in time for me to start college.

I'm really excited though, both about living in Hawaii for a bit and starting college.

Hooray!

Life is going swimmingly, I've kind of had a case of the blahs lately, but I am pretty well over it now, so hooray!

Life lesson #34

Do not sleep with friends.

Among the many possible outcomes, in my experience, it generally doesn't end as you hope.

I'm not sad, disappointed or otherwise, I'm just stating, lesson learned.

Things do happen and that's nothing I'll try to deny, but fraternity means a lot more to me than dating generally does. So, maybe it is for the best that I just do my best to not become interested in my friends.

So, of the many things in my lifetime I've come to learn are complete wastes of time, I now add guys. For the better part they can be related to puppies. While cute and fun for a while, they just make things for you to clean up after most of the time. Okay, so maybe I'm not that great with analogies, but nonetheless I get sick of dealing with guys, I really do. I love my guy friends to death, but potential guys to date? Ugh. Seriously, maybe if you meet somewhere in the middle things work out, but for me it seems like no matter how much or how little I try, I'm always met with even less. Matt was a cool guy, I liked him a lot, but we just didn't care about any of the same things so we didn't really have a whole lot to talk about. Then, I have a guy friend who seemed to show some interest, and who also is a lot like myself as far as opinions go, but is apparently as fickle as he is charming. So, I can't really figure out if anything is going with that or not, and I would try and ask him about it, but I can never catch him by himself. I dunno, maybe I just take life with a much larger grain of salt than everyone else, I mean that would make sense, I do most everything in my own time, and I rather like living this way, but maybe it is one of my short-comings. I guess I should really be focused on more important matters at hand, such as moving out, getting a better job, and saving for college, but I'm a multi-tasker, I don't like to focus on one thing as much as I do a few things at a time, which is why I think I could handle dating on top of the rest of my plateful.

Oh well though whatever, there are indeed more fish in the sea, and whereas I have my eye on one for the moment, that doesn't mean I won't move on before too long.

So, I haven't updated lately. Which I mean, updates from me these days are few and far between anyway so I guess I really don't even need the previous sentence.

So, I visited my brother and sister in law (and children) this past week. I had a lot of fun. Thems good people, mmhmmm. My niece Elizabeth is the sweetest kid, she's only a year old so, I'm sure you can imagine the messes she can manage to get into, but nonetheless she's pretty sweet. Adrianna (their two month old) is ...well, she's a baby. She poops and eats ... a lot. That's not to say she isn't precious as well though, she makes the cutest faces and for a two month old she seems to have quite a lot of personality, if you try to baby talk her, she will look at you like you're retarded, no giggle face, no baby smile, no. She will raise an eyebrow, seriously, I'm not kidding.

As far as work goes things are working out all right, I wish I made more money, but I'm sure most people wish that, lol. Well, actually, I'm making plenty of money, I shouldn't complain, I just wish I could have plenty of money, and then money to save... Well, technically speaking I could save money if I wouldn't spend it so carelessly, but I dunno. I'm just terrible with saving money, I can spend it on specific things I intend on owning in the long run, and I suppose that is good, but it doesn't exactly help with my goal of moving out. Maybe if I get another raise I'll start being better with my money... Maybe.

	I, Rachel Victoria, being of sound mind, hereby bequeath my entire estate to Micheal Jackson. I do this because I'm a weirdo. My only regret in this life was that I wasn't evil enough.
'What will your Last Will and Testament say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Uhhh... I liked this.

Goodnight.

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself You're the perfect blend of independent and caring You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

As though I needed this quiz to tell me, but still yesss.

Yeah!

Okay, I'm over it now, but man, I'm feeling really nauseous =/ I've been sick lately, but it's weird it seems like these days I get sick about a couple days or more out of each month, I wish it would stop because I cannnot miss work tomorrow because there is no one who can cover my shift, literally, no one. It's just me and Matt working the buffet until we hire new people, and he is working tomorrow morning so ...uhh. Yeah, I think you catch my drift.

And that time is now.

... I wasn't actually going anywhere with that, I just wanted some melodramatic entrance to what is soon to become a rather mundane update, haha.

Well, life is going swell!

I'll be finished with school pretty soon (damn soon to be exact) (woooo!!!111!)

I'm working again so I'm not all stressed about money and boredom

and to put the cherry on top of things I've found a decent boyfriend !!!

and by decent I mean he's actually a decent human being, it's a welcomed change of pace

When we go out he does the standard gentlemenly things without even thinking about it.

We agree on most everything, and he can make me laugh.

There are a bunch of other good points but I know you don't really care so I'll break it down more like this.

I'm super happy, and I'm not trying to put him on a pedestal so soon, but I genuinely feel like I am dating someone worth the effort I apply to a relationship. It's freakin' sweeeeet.

For once I'm actually worried about screwing things up as opposed to being worried about getting screwed over. I mean I'm not that worried, but you get what I meant I'm sure. I'm a good and loyal girlfriend, I won't do anything wrong.

==============================================================
In other news I'm probably going to go to the doctor in a day or two, I've been having this really bad pain in (or below I guess) my sternum for the past few days and it won't go away. It huuuurrrrttttsss, and I can't put it off anymore, I have a heart murmur, and there is a history of heart disease in my family, so it kinda makes me nervous. I mean it probably is nothing to worry about, and probably doesn't even have anything to do with my heart, but better safe than sorry you know?

and tomorrow I'm going to see Hot Fuzz!!!!!! with Matthew (I know, I know, I'm a name repeater, but so is he so it's kinda funny)

Man, I really hope this movie doesn't suck because I am so excited about it. If it sucks I'll be so mad, it'll be just like the time I waited years to see The Matrix's sequel and then it blew like a desperate girl on a date. Ugh. I still haven't completely gotten over that disappointment, lol.

Meh. Well. I have to get up for work in an hour and a half for work. hooray.... fuck.

I hate the mornings!!! Hate em.

No really, I hate em.

Actually they aren't so bad, I just hate this shitty fucking chest pain.


I have to not think about it to go to sleep which was easy earlier, but now that I've woken up it's a little more difficult, lol.

Well actually now that I think about it tomorrow I'll be working with Matt (boyfriend Matt, yep) in the morning and he's okay with doing the stuff that I super hate doing, which is awesome.


........If we get a fucking bus in the morning I am going to be so pissed.

... Fucking cornbread festival.

Just like fat ass motherfucking Americans to have a festival dedicated to a food item.

... Okay, I'm just getting that out in advance so that maybe I won't be so frustrated in the morning due to my neverending dread, lol.

You Are 28% Girly

You are a pretty hardcore tomboy, and a very free spirit. Gender roles be dammed, you like to do things your way.

I can't sleep =(

Ugh...

So I know I'm stupid for blogging all the time but whatever.

Lately I've come to realize that my emotions are as fickle as Tennessee weather, not in a bipolar kind of way as much in that some days I am perfectly content in the way my life is going and other days I feel like I'm missing out on something, or everything and am marching on into a big emptiness. All day today I felt hopeless, I know it was just a case of the blah's but no less it wasn't fun. ... Okay, it's time I spill, I've avoided it for as long as I can but it's gotta happen.

Lately I've had a little ... I don't even know what you would call it ... With a friend of mine, and it's been driving me insane because as fickle as I am I have nothing on this person. Some days it will seem like this is an undeniable truth and then other days I'm left with nothing but second guessing, however it's not as though the best outcome of the possibilities would matter anyway though because Summer is beginning and will just as soon end and with that brings more changes. It just makes me sad because this someone was a huge part of a large part of my life and then we grew up and apart, well physically, not mentally I guess, I can still talk to him just like I could any other time in our life, which is good, but we grew apart in the sense that we became different people, he has a lot going for him in life, and he's worked hard for it; whereas I've pretty well set my life up to be an uphill battle, of which I'm willing to tackle of course, but still.


In spite of all that has happened though, I never want to stop being friends, ever. If nothing ever becomes of me and this person as anything more than that I want at least that. God doesn't give you a lot of friends that time does not affect, for most people if you haven't talked to an old friend in more than a few months they've become a stranger, but not this friend, it doesn't matter how long we've been apart he always feels the same, and I'm not willing to throw that away for anything (love included), I'm pretty sure he doesn't view this exactly the same way, but he has a penis so this clouds his judgement as I've come to learn.

Well anyway I think I'm going to go try to sleep now...

Okay, so I'm working on a collage right now (or I was at least) about how love is force-fed to you through the media and rather than it being just a natural happy thing these days it's more like an event that must be documented and follow a certain pattern and yadda yadda, but I've not gotten that far on it, right now it's pretty much just a board with the words fall in love glued to it and a little wedding cake topper couple below that, but anyway I came over to the computer to check the internets and my cat Bacon started to randomly attack the word love, lol. I was like I'm with ya on that one buddy.

... I dunno, I guess it was just one of those things I wanted to remember, and actually I'm not really all "wahhh" love, and I'm also not bitter, as I've said before I'm more to the state of indifference, and it's a pretty sweet state to be in. My cat however has apparently decided love is not for her, lol.

Oh for the record the inspiration for the collage is actually that not too long ago I looked through a bunch of my magazines and every single one of them had at least two articles that were love based, I dunno, it just struck me as odd, it was all love advice?

Your Theme Song is Back in Black by AC/DC

"Back in black, I hit the sack, I've been too long, I'm glad to be back" Things sometimes get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos. But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last!

=======================================
Good call blog things, good call.

Because having a penis is an inadvertent statement of the fact that you will use that penis to fuck anything that doesn't fuck you first (for most men). So saying "you'd hit it" is redundant.

ANYWAY

All in all I'd say today was a great day. To start it off I woke up and helped Dad roof the back of the house (it just had 10 year roll roofing on it, and that shit sucks), so I helped him carry plywood and all that good stuff, and then by around 6 like a total loner because I couldn't find anyone to go to the show with me, and I've been trying for forever (shut up), but then I found out Kat and Brian were going so I didn't sweat it. Then somehow in the stream of things outside the show I ran into Zach Alex and Charlotte and they were going to get ice cream. It is a fact that I can never turn down ice cream, ever, probably even if I were fully aware of it containing ruphinoyl I would still be like eh what the hell, it's ice cream... Okay, so maybe not in that situation, but I think you get the point. So we walk all around downtown and then go to Chili's... and then Kelli gets off work! So Kelli comes to join the par-tay and we walk around downtown some more after I enjoyed some sweet fucking mango tea. Random events occur in between the next two, I'll just list them: Jewish cemetery tour, CSAS tour, Frat Party Find (ALMOST attended) I'm probably forgetting stuffs there but it's one of those things that I couldn't describe well enough for it to not be one of those "you just had to be there" stories. Then we go back to the dorm and hang out with everybody and that was fun as usual. So in conclusion I just have to say that I feel I had a very accomplished day.

Okay, I'm done now. I was just happy to have at least ONE fun-packed day during Spring break, maybe tomorrow will be fun too? I hope so, lol. The first few hours of it are going to involve more roofing, hooray! lol.

Uh, goodnight kiddies.

P.S. I turn 18 in 50 days, oooo!!!

I want to go skydiving and Shane's supposed to go with me but apparently he's probably going to pansie out, so does anyone want to go with meh? Eh? Eh?

Also I want to throw a party, with cake AND ice cream, not just one, or the other, but both, and not together but seperate. Balloons optional.

P.S.S. I write blogs. I have since I was 13, I don't care if it's stupid, I'd put them in my livejournal but I'm all ready on myspace so it's just easier this way... lol. Also, how does sleepy qualify as a mood? Isn't it more like a state of being? You can't say your mood is sleepy, that's stupid, however I am sleepy, so yeah?

always have difficulty putting my thoughts into words, or well I guess that's

redundant because I think in sentences, but I mean a thought to myself is one thing,

but sharing a thought? That's a rather difficult feat, especially in written format, it's

actually a relatively new concept to mankind, and by relatively new I mean it's only a

few thousand years old, but in comparison to how long we've supposively been around

it's a new. There are particular thoughts that have been keeping me awake this

morning, in particular those pertaining to religion, and I know, I know just at the sight

of that word people expect either one of the following things to be in my next

sentence, either something about the neverending love of god, or the latter, the

neverending condemnation of man, however for a change of pace I'm not going to

mention either. I've realized why getting anyone to talk about religion with an open

mind is as difficult as pulling teeth, it's because the generation I was born into, and

possibly even the generation before it is as attention defecit as a five year old hyped

up on sugar. No one wants to take time out of their busy schedules to think about

anything aside from the goals they have at hand, and I can sympathize with that, a lot

is expected of a person these days, not only must you support yourself, but in most

cases you're expected to support others, be it monetarily, emotionally, or physically,

it's all the same. It could be said that generations before ours had it more difficult, and

I guess in a lot of ways they did, but in the same our generation has to face

problems that people of the past couldn't even begin to fathom, our generation is

expected to repair the problems the generations before ours created, to better the

planet by making neighbors of foreign nations, and on top of all of this there is the

American dream to think about, a decent house with a nice family and a good paying

job. Thinking of it this way I bet you can understand a little better why people don't

take time out for religion, why should they when they can take their life into their own

hands and decide that nothing amounts to anything, no matter how many lives you

save or lay to waste, no matter how many endangered species you protect, or plants

you save from extinction, nothing will amount to anything. Now, looking at it this way,

why does anyone do anything? The modern goal en masse as I can see it is to get

ahead of the person ahead of you. To have more things, more money, more sex,

more everything. Because as everyone is taught by the media from the time you are

small until the time you visit the happy hunting ground, you are the things you own, or

in most cases the things you don'town. All this brings me back to my main

point, that point being why I can sympathize with any person who is unwilling to take

time out for religion. I mean really, who wants to be held accountable for anything

these days? Looking further into one of my most favorite topics (politics), look at our

country as an example. We invaded a country and most probably on accident gave

the upperhand to one group and made an underdog of another, and naturally this

caused a war amongst the very people we tried to help in the first place, well why

should we be held accountable for that? It isn't as though we went in knowing who

stood for what, we just gave the power to who we thought was competent (I'm talking

about the Iraqi Armed Forces here). So, rather than admitting the fact that it was

probably our fault that this country is now fighting amongst itself we cover things up

with small victories. Now, take this example to a smaller scale down to an individual

basis, every soldier fights his war and takes home individual victories for himself, be it

that he saved a kitten or that he simply stayed alive, those things are directly relevant

to his actions and so he can be held accountable for these things. What all this is

getting at is this, everyone has things they are willing to admit to as being right, and

everyone has things they're willing to admit to being wrong about, however it is much

more likely for someone to admit accuracy than to admit a fault. So once again, I can

sympathize with the nonbeliever, with so many rules one is bound to screw up at

least sometimes, and if no one likes to admit fault, than why should anyone want to

acknowledge an exact set of rules of morality? Now one has to wonder why it is that

if I can sympathize so much with not having faith than why on earth would I even

bother with religion? Well, it really comes down to this, I can not imagine living a life

solely for myself. Even today I go to school not so that I can have a career that will

make me massive amounts of money, I go to school because I want better for a

family I haven't even gotten started on yet, I want to study a subject not so that I can

do better things for myself, but I want to do better things for the world which is

comprised of people I'll probably never even meet. I can't imagine living life for myself,

because honestly what point is there in that? In a few decades I'll be nothing more

than food for the worms why should I even bother living life for a few decades worth of

possessions? They're as temporary as I am, however it is a given that once I die

things will keep moving on, the sun will rise and set on that day as though I never

even existed. So why not try to leave some mark on that day. It's a little bit

more important than I feel I can give it credit for, and by "living for today" it is

assumed that one live with a disregard for tomorrow, well in some ways that is for the

best, you shouldn't live life walking on the eggshells of hope but in the same you

aren't going to be around forever, but the children you have, they're the ones who are

going to inherit everything you leave behind, the state of the planet included. So what

does this have to do with God or religion you're probably wondering by now. God

didn't put the planet here for people to destroy, and he also didn't make the rules to

make you feel bad. Religion is supposed to be about love, as cheesy as that sounds,

not condemnation, by following the rules god gave to you you'll never want for

anything because you'll have everything that really matters, and all the struggles we

deal with on a day to day basis would be a faint ripple in the water of eternity in

comparison to the benefits of ourselves and our children. The rules of the Christian

bible are so contorted in the modern world it's hard to even believe these days that

Jesus was an anarchist, any republican would lead you to believe he would vote for

their causes, it's also hard to believe that poor people could get into heaven, I mean

after all the political party for christ is mainly comprised of wealthy white men,

however I digress I'm not one for organized religion simply for the fact that I will never

judge another human being for any reason, and labeling yourself as one thing or

another is to say that you are in opposition to whatever that label opposes, I

understand the world we live in and thus I can understand the difficulties every person

has to face and sometimes people make choices that are a reflection of those

difficulties rather than a reflection of their character, I mean afterall it is always easier

to bend the rules to fit your means than to take the time to find a means within the

rules, and everyone is guilty of doing this at one point in time or another, so why

should I judge anyone for things I am most probably guilty of myself? I suppose you

have to draw the line somewhere though because understanding will only get you so

far, and I draw it at this, I accept when I am wrong and will openly admit to my own

defeat, and I guess in that is the seperation between faith and religion, religion is

realizing the rules and faith is accepting that you are bound to break them, but none

the less you still have to be able to admit the fault, knowing when you are wrong and

accepting that you are wrong are two completely different things. Well, I guess this is

all I really wanted to say, I could say a lot more but I just realized how long this has

gotten and getting back to the point of our generations attention defecit issues if you

made it this far I'd like to congratulate you, I know if I saw this in someone else's blog

I'd probably think about reading and then would make it halfway through before getting

bored, I tried not to stay on any one subject for too long so I wouldn't lose your

interest, but I guess just seeing too many words might have even done the trick for

that one. Well anyway I couldn't go back to sleep, that's why I wrote this and as a

whole it's just different things I've been thinking about, I don't expect it to change

anyone's mind about anything, and I didn't mean to insult anyone who follows the

political party for jesus, but if I did than I'm sorry, I'm just not a big fan of the

idealisms, and I will blatantly go as far as to say they are probably the most blind

idealisms in political history, and are unchristian at best, everyone has their thing

and republicanism just isn't mine.

If this made you stop and think even if just for the ten seconds it took you to stop

reading it than I'm happy.

Well anywho, I have a bagel downstairs with my name on it, well not literally,

literally speaking it will just have cream cheese on it.

P.S.S. I don't even know why this is double spaced dude, seriously

Oh yeah and one last
thing I'd like to add, Jesus said it was next to impossible for a rich man to get into
heaven, how ironic is that? Look at the Christian churches today? They're like a money-making powerhouse.

Ugh...

So, I'm kinda stressed.

A little bit, but not too bad I guess.

Things here never really seem to get that much better, it's kind of like they stay bad but you get used to it, and then they get worse, and once again you adjust.

I'm okay with that, it's nothing new, but I'm having to help dad making a big decision now and I really am not sure at all what to do.

We're thinking about selling the house =/

In part because the lawyer we're buying it from is fucking us over big time, and in other part because we can pay for it with what it's worth, and then still have 50,000 more dollars to invest into somewhere else where we'll actually own the place eventually (it's a long story).

I can't wait to move away from this soul-sucking pit. I mean don't get me wrong, this is the most familiar place I'll ever come across in my entire life, but the familiarity is the only thing it has going for it, and familiarity is pretty easy to come by.

But I digress, Dad is stressed out way more than I am, it's ridiculous, I wouldn't really be this stressed out if it weren't for that I'm the only person dad really talks to about stuff like this. I try to tell him it's pointless to worry about it, but to no avail. I'm looking up houses for him. It shouldn't be too hard because he doesn't want anything special really, anything between an acre to five acres with a house, preferably a more rural area, with a price maximum of 80,000. I think it's do-able.

Seriously though, I'm not going into any debts with dad. I know that sounds mean because he would help me with anything I could need, but he's terrible with money. Today he asked me if I could start paying for the car on my own... I'm like, ahhh!! I'm a full time student, and within the next month I will start working almost full-time again, and in between that I would like to have time to enjoy being young, if at all possible, seriously.

I know if I move out I'm just going to have more bills to pay and more stress to deal with, but honestly whatever, at least I'll be getting somewhere in life. Right now I am beating my head against a brick wall because everything I help pay for is in dad's name, and his credit isn't getting any better because he never pays his bills on time.

Ugh.
Okay, I'm over it now.

There should be more venting later because this is probably like, half of it.


Rachel's Sunny Outlook For Today:
I used to hate Pantera, but giving them a second chance, they really are unique.

Man...

So I had an enlightening experience today in the very literally most strange place, the gynecologist... Yeah I know, it sounds stupid, but here's how things went:

I scheduled an appointment with the local Health Department so that I could get back on birth control (I haven't had a period in 4 months =/). At first it made me nervous because ... well it's a gynecologist, what wouldn't make you nervous? They poke your goods, but it went surprisingly well, the doctor (who was female) was extrememly nice. At one point in time the doctor had to leave the room to take a call and sitting there I could hear a mother talking to the nurse warning her about how incooperative her baby was for doctors, and shortly after this I heard a baby screaming bloody murder. The doctor walked into the room and then rushed back into the other room with a cloth of some sort, and when she came back she said "sorry you had to wait, the baby next door cried herself sick and started vomiting and the mother was sitting there trying to calm the baby while trying to catch the vomit in her hand, yeah I know that sounds gross but once you're a mom that's like nothing". The last part is really a tangent to my enlightening experience, but is interesting no less. The enlightening part is that throughout all of my appointment I never once felt awkward and the doctor never once seemed fake. I used to go to a gynecologist in Chattanooga and this doctor was a complete asshole, he wouldn't listen to me when I tried to tell him that I was being completely serious about when I started puberty (8), and he tried to make me feel as though I were lying about the frequency of my periods. The new doctor however was completely friendly she was also baffled by my periods but was more understanding and simply put it as some people just don't have them without pills.

Anyway the true point behind all this is that this lady probably doesn't make near as much money working for the state as she could if she ran her own practice (like aforementioned asshole doctor did), but she does it anyway, and she made sure that if I had any questions to ask them and if I had any problems to call, etc...etc... Also all over the place in this building there were signs posted for helping domestic violence victims, rape, etc... So I dunno, I guess it sounds stupid, but I think it made my day because I was reminded that maybe there are still good people out there. You know?

Eh, that's all.

Oh, and if you have a penis and you read this I warned you, so if this grossed you out or whatever it's your fault, lol.

Oh, and ONE LAST THING I think this lady helped give me an idea of what I might want to do once I get out of college, I want to do something that will help people, even if it's only within a small contained area (such as but most definetly not Jasper, TN). I want to work with the public, not necessarily for the state but who knows. It's just an idea for the moment and you can never tell with me, I might change my mind tomorrow.

This isn't the only experience like this that I've had lately though, going to the adult high school is a lot like this too. The people that work there pretty much deal with everyone from the 30 year old mother of three's to the 16 year old flunky and yet somehow they manage to always be inviting, open, and understanding. Seriously, it takes people like these to make a country function. At Richard Hardy when I talked to the principal about looking into to taking online classes he said and I quote "I'm not sure I'm willing to risk the reputation of this school on you". Which I understand to one degree or another, I'm a terrible student and I'll never try to say I'm anything I'm not, but choosing a school's reputation over a person in my opinion is about as low as it gets, and I'm not the only person that was treated as such, I know of at least two other people who have been asked to leave that school. Then, the aforementioned school gave me incorrect information about my further education opportunities, but anyway that's beside the point, and the point is this, there are always people there that are willing to give you a chance for who you are, or to give you a second chance after screwing up the first one, or to help you out of a rut you thought would never end, they're just hard to come by. I think my new goal in life is to become one of these people. I never want to judge another person for what they wear, or how they talk, or what they listen to, or anything else. Every person deserves a chance, and I think I'm to the point in my life where I'm ready to see what all is out there, I don't think people should be any different.


=========================================================

Rachel's Sunny Outlook for Today:

I have a bag full of free condoms if anyone needs them.

Why?!

Okay not really, I'm fine, I hung out with my dad and we both bitched about needing Valentine's, lol.

He was like it's funny, you need someone to buy you flowers and I need someone to buy flowers for, lol. Then he was like guys get screwed over with this holiday, don't they?

I just laughed because he's right, but I usually give good Valentine's day gifts =/

Anyway!

That's all I had to say.

Seriously though, my day hasn't sucked but it would sound pretty shitty if I described it so I'm not going to bother, lol.

Now Charlie is going to come over and we're going to watch The Departed. Yeay!

Mafia film?

Oh hells yes.

For the sake of getting my sleep pattern in order.

I started painting, and then I started thinking about college and everyone leaving and everything.

Then I stopped liking what I was painting.

So I stopped painting.

lol.

It's a depressing thought, but this is not intended to be a depressing blog.

...

but knowing me it's going to be. Oh well whatever here goes:


I can think of so many different people in my life that at different points in my life I couldn't imagine being without, and then things would happen and as of course we'd grow apart, or however it is you choose to describe this phenomena.

Looking back now I realize that some people you become close to in life really only fit certain periods in your life, but then there are other people you will never grow apart from... or at least this is what I mostly certainly hope for because I can name five people off of the top of my head that I never want to stop hearing from, and I'm not going to name them because I'm pretty sure they know who they are, and if they don't than maybe I should reconsider.

I dunno... It's just depressing to me I guess.

The reason I stopped painting was because I started thinking about what things are going to be like ten years from now when I awkwardly run into high school friends in the grocery store, or at Wal-Mart or something. For the five people I named I don't want to ever experience that awkward "how's the wife and kids" conversation. I want them to know that if they ever need anything, whether or not we've talked in ten days or ten years, I'll be there, and I want them to feel the same way towards me =(

I guess only time will tell, and time is in fact a dirty secret-keeping bastard.

I'm not going to say I'm going to be right here physically forever because truth be known I would rather die now than experience life as a towny for the rest of my life, but still nonetheless I never want to leave my friends, but I guess in reality it's going to happen, but as long as it doesn't happen with those five people, than nothing else matters.

Rachel's Sunny Outlook for Today:
Awww, I used to listen to this song while playing Age of Empires II.
I miss the good ole' days.

Kelli and I are going to watch Pete & Pete with subtitles on today so that we can learn what the fabled "wtf is he saying" line to the Polaris song can be revealed.

Our discoveries shall be posted...

P.S.

Bacon is being spayed tomorrow =0!

She will finally be registered and everything, lol.

Under the name!!!

Bacon.

I love my kitty =)

It's Super Bowl Sunday! Yeah!!!

What this means?

I'm pretty sure it has something to do with dumb broads in short skirts, shitty music, redundant annoucing, men fighting over a weird shaped leather ball, over the top one time use only commercials, and then there's the zoo....

Okay, so really the zoo has nothing to do with this event.

But me and Kelli are going today...

Yeah!!!

Last night we went and saw Smoking Aces, it was fuckin' sweet, then we went to Steak and Shake for fizood and that was fuckin' sweet too until some waitress pointed out I was the only one without a date... Stupid bitch... I was like great, I didn't notice you old heifer, point it out to me why don't you? ... I'm kidding, it didn't bother me that bad, I was just like whatever you just downgraded your tip... Not really, she did her best so I left her a decent tip, but okay f'real.

Anyway so school tomorrow....

Woooooooo

Yeah.

I have my W2's back, I plan to fill them out online, does anyone have any pointers on that, or a link, if you have both, that would be sweet...

Anyway, I'm going to get some sleeps'...

Goodnight.

OH YEAH!!!!!

AND MY BROTHER IS BACK FROM AFGHANISTAN.


EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got to see him yesterday, I was so happy, lol.